Today was a regular day. I thought about a lot of things. People still think I'm crazy and people still judge me for my scars. My sister Joyzie should be the last person to judge but as life would have it she is the first to judge me.

     We were riding in my car when the judgement took place. I was taking her to her friends house. This is something I do often and as a favor to me an is making me a playlist she also owes me ten dollars but the playlist is worth more to me than the money. Joyzie is really good with making playlist and she is a computer wiz she has been since we were young. I remember her helping my dad with the computer when we were kids. Joyzie was like three have you know. Anyways her and I were in the car. I was asking her about her friend. From what she was telling me Jami was a fellow blogger which meant she could quite possibly be as depressed as me. Joyzie and I both agree that if you have a tumblr you have most likely been depressed at one point or another. This being the criteria we hold for most girls we meet with tumblrs. We too both have tumblrs and know how hard it can be not to stumble into the darkness that tumblr holds. I asked if maybe I should meet her friends parents. Ann said no and tried to give me reasons why I shouldn't have to meet them. I found them all to be empty so I pressed on for me to be introduced. Finally she said. "You should have worn long sleeves." There was a moment of silence. It gave me enough time to register what was being said to me. When I realized what she meant by it I was hurt but I didn't want to show her that so I went on with the conversation. I didn't get out of the car and I didn't get to close to the house when I pulled up for fear of embarrassing Joyzie I pulled out and didn't give the event a second thought until now.

     Earlier in the day I saw moose and lane for a while. Moose isn't coming home until Sunday and Lane still lives with mom so I don't get to see her much. I was happy to see her though. I wish I could spend more time with all three of my beautiful little siblings but I can't so I suppose it's whatever.

     On Sunday I get to go see my girlfriend Jordy. I am so excited. I love her a lot and I miss her every minute we are apart. Jordy is special to me because she is the first girl I have ever let in this far she knows more than anyone at this point and it's nearly impossible to keep anything from that one. This girl is more then a girl she is my whole world. I know I'm stealing this line from her favorite song but I would destroy anyone who would try to harm her. I'm scared that one day I will hurt her but in my mind it seems impossible. It's strange how a girl can be so delicate yet as strong as she is. She is a wonder to me a real wonder. I could think about her all day. I feel like I know next to nothing about her and I hope that one day I will feel like I know her through and through. This is the girl I love and I am ashamed to feel that I don't know a whole lot about her. I guess I know what everyone else does but I feel like she has so much more she can tell me and I want her to feel comfortable telling me. I don't want to pry though so I will wait. Jordy and I are going to be together forever I just simply know it. Jordy will never leave me nor I her. Our love is pure and good and it's the first relationship I have built on honesty.

     I am getting a lot better at telling the truth. I still tend to stretch the truth from time to time with stupid stuff like my feelings and I stress certain things to my dad and hide others but I am getting better. My dad and I are getting better at communicating and I am proud to say I haven't been lying to Jordan. She knows so much about me and telling her the truth is easy. Every time I tell her the truth and don't through random stuff in which has been every time since the lying came out I have patted myself on the back and said to myself practice makes perfect. One day I am going to be so honest that certain people wont even be able to talk to me. I will be proud when that day comes and I will know that I have finally fixed my bad habit. I cannot wait to get better.